Blogs

I absolutely despise blogs. I've never really understood why people come here to rant senselessly to a web of people who really couldn't give a rat's ass what's going on in your life. It's a complete and utter waste of time to blog, and people who do so are a complete and utter waste of life and air.

Honestly, it amazes me that you'll come across a completely personal journal online where people spill their guts to a bunch of strangers, leaving themselves exposed and vulnerable. The internet doesn't give as much anonymity as people would like to think. Even if it did, why in God's name would you take your personal life and spew it onto a random web page for people to laugh at your sorrow and despair? Morons. Nobody gives a crap.

Now I know someone's going to come and talk about how great their blogging community is and how it's helped them get through this and that and how wonderful people are. Piss off. They're kissing your ass in hopes of trying to extract something from you, extorting your vulnerability to their own advantages. Of course, if you're blogging in the first place you're probably too much of a dipshit to understand that. Again, nobody really cares.

Inactive Blogs

What's it been? 10 months since the last post here. Well, good news, myself and newly appointed complainers Doitzel, Sunshine and GoForGoldenJarls will be starting up, as we like to say, the great complaining process.

Now, with the 10 month hiatus, this blog has been inactive. To avoid being hypocritical, that's not what I'm complaining about. The people who registered a blog name here at Blogspot, but have never made one post. There's no system for (as Black Flag says) the process of weeding out. Inactive blogs take the subdomains from blogs that could have been active. TGCD could have been The Superior Complaints Department, or The Collossal Complaints Department, but those were taken. There could have been a few great blogs out there, but their would-be owners decided not to pursue it because a name was taken. If no two people could have the same name, and blogs were people, what if someone else was named Tony Iommi or Bill Clinton in the early 1800's? There would have never been Bill Clinton: and more importantly Tony Iommi. No one is as cool as Tony Iommi.

Those last few sentences might have been a stretch, but I rarely erase things in my rants. There's not that much to complain about here, so I'll cut this complaint short before I ramble.

Elevators

That's right, those electric lifts that take people to higher floors in a building irritate me to no end. It's not so much that they exist that annoys me, but it's more how they're used.

Everytime I see some out of shape, sorry excuse for a physical specimen waddle into an elevator, I think: "Climb some stairs buddy!" Elevators are making America fat. I don't care if it's 8 or 50 floors to where you want to go. Exercise is good for you and will keep you from becoming a statistic. And I don't care how many have to drop lifelessly in the stairwell on the 76th floor. It's like taking the warning labels off of everything to eliminate the world's idiots. Removing elevators will eliminate obesity.

What really riles me is when there are easily accessable stairs to the 2nd or 3rd floor, and stupid, annoying, lazy people hold up the lifts just to ride up there! It would save you people 10 minutes of your time if you took the friggin' stairs! Instead you delay the other people trying to get to the 100th floor when they have to hold the door for you and then wait as the lift slowly creeps its way to a floor you could have walked to. And don't give me this sob story about being too old. You only ever got in that condition by being a bum.

Elevators themselves are usually built very poorly. Always slow, they break down easily, providing the only respite from their menacing existence. I support a worldwide campaign to make elevators exstinct, and build more of their natural enemy, the stairs. Even escalators are better than elevators, even though they are an evil hybrid between the two. Elevators should simply be purged from society, and that as they say, is that.

Purposely Obscure File Types

Yes, long title. But don't worry, it gets good.

So, I store my music on iTunes, and own an iPod. Now, iTunes and iPods are great stuff, don't get me wrong, but do Microsoft and Apple have to be such enemies that iTunes protects their files? So, I have to make a video for my little brother's Bar Mitzvah. Since I'm on Windows, I don't have iMovie, so I use Windows Movie Maker. The video was very complete, except for the music. I added a few music for the games I own, which sounded good, but then I realized I need an actual lyrical song. So, I went to iTunes. I dragged one of the files onto the desktop, and was about to drag it into my video. I notice it has a weird file extension, like .m4p or something like that. Hell, Movie Maker can read anything, I thought. So, I drag it in. Nothing happens. I right-clicked Properties, and found out that the file was fully a Multi-Layered MPG4 Protected Audio File. I knew I wasn't getting through anything with a name that long. 1 hour of searching about how to get around the problem later, I found a neat little program, J-Hymn, that can convert the files.

But, why was that hour of searching neccessary? Why? As I said before, those comment spammers have added up to waste minutes of my life. But this is hours. Just a little rivalry has probably caused me, and others, to lose days of our lives just because one file can't be placed in the program of another. Yes, competition may be fine but not at this level. Windows - and especially Apple - has their products aimed for customer easiness. They want their customers to be happy! Yay!

...

Wrong. They want to make a few more dollars.

Bushisms

Okay, sure, he's funny. He mispronounces everything and misuses grammar. George W. Bush may be a plump fool when it comes to public speeches, but, really, do we have to save up all of his mistakes? I've heard that stupid quote about misunderestimating too many times. Sure, it's funny once. Maybe a second time. But, really, a database? A new word just to describe his bastardization of the English language? No. It's unnecessary and pretty annoying to add to that.

Besides, we did elect him.

Unfunny Comedians

I've just had a lousy day. So what do I want to do? I wan't to watch some Stand Up and have a little fun. So, I flip on Comedy Central, and I see this comic doing some standup. As soon as I turn it on, he does a little one-liner that makes me chuckle, so I continued watching. Then, I realized that wasn't the comic. That was the host of the show. So, the host makes a few more jokes and then the comic gets on.

The only thing to describe him must have been a 'dot dot dot'. He did a number of things on my list that a comic shouldn't do. Yes, he was funny, but mostly unfunny. What really made me mad was him laughing at his own jokes. As he got to the punch line, he start cracking up, and his eyes were litterally watering. He would completely fail at poker.* It was if someone else had wrote the jokes, he had never read them before, and thought they were funny. He also said 'get it?' at the end of each joke. Now, either he thought we were too stupid to understand that was the punch line, or he's about to get fired and is nervous and wants acceptance from his boss. Anyway, not only was he a bad comic, he was not funny.

It turned by lousy day, into a lousier day.

*So, if any of you have seen the ad for Party Poker.com, he would need it.

Comment Spammers

Yes, TGCD is back!

Me, Parrotman, and the newly appointed FlyingMonkey, are just trying to complain, have some fun, and see what people think about our complaints and how we write them. So, some guy comes along, and posts 20 links to his car site in comments. Now, first, it makes me log in, and then remove the comment. That's about 20 seconds of my life, wasted. That adds up. So far, I've probably wasted 5 minutes of my life deleting comments. Those 5 minutes of my life could have been the most important. They could have been the decision of me going skydiving, or me asking my girlfriend something important. I could have been learning a new language, and my newfound knowledge of linguistry get me out of trouble in a foreign country. Just by advertising your car site, I might have missed out on my life because of you.

Hell, I've got one life to live. And I want it to be ad-free.

Boy Racers

If I were to write a list of my pet peeves, these things would come high. Very high in fact. When I am walking down the street, I do not want to see some guy in a bright blue car tearing up the road. I especially do not want to listen to the techno music that is invariably thumping out of his car and making the pavement vibrate. And no, neither does anyone else.

Nor do I want to hear the sound coming out the exhaust, especially when the exhaust is probably bigger than the car itself. I can't fathom why people see a car, strap a monstrosity to the underside, and over-rev it. Loudly. Nor can I understand why they enjoy having their eardrums strained by the same three notes of a techno beat. Maybe they think that when veryone looks at them drive by, they believe everyone thinks they are cool. Maybe they can't actually hear what's being shouted at them. I don't know.

If you're going to buy a car, fine. If you're going to drive it around, fine. Just make sure everyone in a 3-mile radius doesn't know about it.

Pre-Ripped Jeans

Although Outlandish mentioned this in his punk rock post, I thought I'd care to elaborate on it.

I mean, really. Why buy jeans that make you look like you're Methuselah? If you want jeans, buy normal, mint conditioned jeans. I continue to fail to understand how pre-ripped or dirtied jeans make you look 'cool'. If you want to elevate your social life, wearing dirty jeans that are full of holes, does not make you look 'tough'. However, if you bought a normal pair of jeans and that happened, it might. Dirtied jeans just make you look irresponsible, a 'cool wannabe', or, tough. However, it rarely gives the impression of the 3rd option.

I like the look of faded jeans, but ripped jeans are just pushing the limit. The roof doesn't need to be raised anymore.

Firefox

Just to be contrary with my colleague, I will bash Firefox, which FD2 likes for some reason. First of all, it's pretty clunky. Who needs a link to everywhere they go or a Google link at the top of their browser window? Do it yourself, you lazy asses. It's slow. It takes about three minutes to load. Yes, that is an exaggeration, but only partly. It takes a while to every damn page. Internet Explorer doesn't take that much. At all. Firefox has a large community which tries to make everybody use Firefox. The only thing that they achieve is making me angry. I'm damn safe using Internet Explorer. I don't give a damn about plugins or whatever the hell they call them. I'm fine as long as I have an address bar, a go button and back and forward buttons. I don't need a toolbar or some sort of Google bar doohicky. I don't need to update IE. People say that Firefox is safer. Not at all. As long as you don't act like a complete idiot, Internet Explorer is fine.

Go to hell, Firefox.

Punk rock

Is perhaps the most contradictory, corporate, annoying, un-manly thing I have ever heard. I mean, I suppose it used to be good, because punk rock is supposed to be about sticking it to the man. But, in these modern days, punk rock has taken an overdose of oestrogen. "Punks" these days spend large amounts of money on pre-ripped jeans. Would a real punk buy designer clothing? No! They'd get their clothes from garage sales, etc. The same goes for their music. It used to be about rejecting corporate trends in music, and sticking it to the man. But now, we see three-chord riffs played over and over again, with some "punkass" pretty boy singing out of tune, high-pitched complaints about things! The huge contradiction here is that these songs make millions of dollars for record company executives, who, supposedly, are being stuck to. It's all a vast conspiracy, with record companies appealing to the lowest common denominator in order to pad their already vast wallets, all the while under some stupid pretext of sticking it to the man. I hate them.

Neon Lights

...Are satanic. I mean, really, the last thing I need is some ultraviolent bright light in my face. Neon lights trick you. They trick into getting your attention. You're walking down the street, saying 'twas and 'tis, and suddenly...WOW! A bright object that distracts you, and thus could kill you in an infinite number of ways! It hurts my eyes, too. When its night, I love the ambience of it. And then out of nowhere, bang! A neon light ruins the perfectly cliched movie atmosphere!

Flashing neon lights are even worse. On and off, on and off. And if you've ever gotten close to a neon lgiht, you know the annoying buzzing sound it makes.


Neon lights are bad.

'Twas and 'Tis

I hate people who say "'twas" and "'tis". It makes me angry how people can tolerate it. It's intolerable. The structure, the usage, the everything. I have no idea how it got famous. Must have been some sort of history class gone wrong. And when idiots say it, it makes it so much worse. "'Twas great fun!" "'Tis a good day today!" Look, get it straight:

YOU'RE NOT BRITISH.

And, to add to that, Brits don't say that, either. Why do people still use these archaic phrases? It's stupid, pointless, annoying, and more. 'Twas and 'Tis are the worst things to come out of Britland since Oasis. Most people who say it are also pretentious. Why would anyone say those two words from hell unless they were being sarcastic? Nobody sounds witty or smart when they use it. Why not say "That was great fun!" or "It is a good day today!"? There is no reason to sound idiotic or pretentious when you're just trying to get a simple point across.

So don't.

Cobblestone Pathways

...are pointless. I mean, really, whoever invented these was either stupid or drunk. They're no good for riding your bike on them, because a certain part of your body will not be happy; if you're a man of course. And for both genders, it gives me a headache. Constant movement of my head up and down, up and down, up and down gives me a headache, and prevents me from thinking striaght. And if your bike wheels gets caught in between 2 stones, you're in for one heck of a fall.

In a car, it's not as bouncy, but it still rocks you back and forth: more side to side than up and down. It also makes your car reduce speed. If you want to make a car reduce speed, but in a speed bump! There is no speed in cobble.

If you have to push a stroller or something, its almost impossible, not to mention the person inside it is in for one of heck of a ride.

Dirt roads are 500% better, with no doubt.

Funnybone Injuries

I'm guessing some of you have probably whacked your funnybone on something, and you know the results. If you don't know what your funnybone is, its an area on your arm right below your elbow.
If you've never hurt it, you're probably wondering why this is differant than any other injury. It happens to be that the funnybone is sensitive in a weird way. When you hit your funnybone on something, it litterally feels like your whole arm is on fire. It gets hot, tingly, and hurts...a lot.

A few days ago, I banged my funnybone against the corner of a wall when I was walking around it. I don't remember exactly how I banged it, but I can remember for sure that it was dumb. It's funny how the pain spreads out. It goes on your whole lower arm, the center of your palm, and it hurts the most of anywhere on the outside side of your palm; even though you banged halfway up your arm. If I hadn't hit my funnybone, the bang would have been a mere scratch.

I'm wondering. Why? Why your funnybone? Why that spot? Why even at all, does that place have to erupt in pain?

Anyway, due to numerous funnybone injuries, I've found out that immediatly soaking your arm in water under a sink helps the pain.

Cinematic Stereotypes

You drive to the local movie theatre. You buy a ticket for a comedy movie. You buy your popcorn, and walk into the movie. It's one of those 'fish-out-of-water' movies, where a guy is in a place he's not supposed to be in. In this movie, it's about a nerd who moves to an area where there's all these crime wars, and he tries to join a gang. The movie starts after some previews, and the opening screen is of a nerd. How do you know he's a nerd? He's got short straight hair, has thick glasses with thick rims. He takes short steps when he walks.

It's this kind of things that really makes me angry. I mean, really, 'nerds' are not to be classified by Steven Spielberg. People can only be judged by what they act like, not what they look like. You can easily say 'They look like XYZ so they are a nerd'. But why is XYZ nerdish? Because these moviemakers said so. They're making somebody's life harder because these moviemakers said so. And no, I'm not talking about specififc moviemaker jobs, or directors, or people. It's the industry. They're making stereotypes by putting them in movies. If someone dresses up 'nerdy' too, they're are a million variables. Maybe they can't afford new clothes, etc. If someone acts idiotic, and like they're better than everybody else, or whatever pisses you off, fine. It's personalities that define people, not their clothes, or hair style.

It's not only nerds. It's gays, minorities, and other people.

It's the movie industry. Don't point the fingers at the bullies (for the most part). Point it at the people who inspire the bullies, the people that tell the bullies who's prey and who's lord.

Internet Explorer

Easily the most annoying browser ever. Microsoft doesn't give a damn about however uses it. Unsecure, spyware, adware, unprotected. I use Firefox , for that reason. It's secure, and better. It's easily skinnable, a nice, smooth interface, has lots of extentions, WYSIWYG options, tabbed browsing for unlimited websites in one window, and other stuff. It doesnt allow all these spyware mods to grt installed on your browser without asking you, like Internet Explorer does.

An awesome game about to come out by Ensemble Studios, Age of Empires 3, is published by Microsoft. Microsoft helped on the website, and the flash animation (which also is the navigation, and other stuff) is only viewable on IE. Not Firefox, not Opera, not whatever the hell you throw at it. With all those Micro$oft dollars to fix stuff, we can only assume that they purposely did that.And it's CSS properties aren't up to date. For you web designers, like me, it doesn't allow Pseudo-Classes on other elements other than links. Yes, IE validates on all W3C, but it doesnt allow web designers to get creative.