Elevators

That's right, those electric lifts that take people to higher floors in a building irritate me to no end. It's not so much that they exist that annoys me, but it's more how they're used.

Everytime I see some out of shape, sorry excuse for a physical specimen waddle into an elevator, I think: "Climb some stairs buddy!" Elevators are making America fat. I don't care if it's 8 or 50 floors to where you want to go. Exercise is good for you and will keep you from becoming a statistic. And I don't care how many have to drop lifelessly in the stairwell on the 76th floor. It's like taking the warning labels off of everything to eliminate the world's idiots. Removing elevators will eliminate obesity.

What really riles me is when there are easily accessable stairs to the 2nd or 3rd floor, and stupid, annoying, lazy people hold up the lifts just to ride up there! It would save you people 10 minutes of your time if you took the friggin' stairs! Instead you delay the other people trying to get to the 100th floor when they have to hold the door for you and then wait as the lift slowly creeps its way to a floor you could have walked to. And don't give me this sob story about being too old. You only ever got in that condition by being a bum.

Elevators themselves are usually built very poorly. Always slow, they break down easily, providing the only respite from their menacing existence. I support a worldwide campaign to make elevators exstinct, and build more of their natural enemy, the stairs. Even escalators are better than elevators, even though they are an evil hybrid between the two. Elevators should simply be purged from society, and that as they say, is that.